I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You need Xanax blowdarts
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
