Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
