walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
