just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Watching her eat just hurts me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
