Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
