How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize