It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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