And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
