Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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