pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
