hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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