i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
