Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
