If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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