I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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