dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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