my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
