you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
