I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
