yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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