forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
