I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
