Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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