If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
