do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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