I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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