just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
