Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
