Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
