i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
