my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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