Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
