Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
