If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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