so explain again why im purple
no
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize