At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
