Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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