you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
