I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if only i could text you this smell
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize