Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.