Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them