Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
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I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.