The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
