I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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