The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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