I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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