Umm I'm too high to move.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
