I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Go christen that room with your naked body.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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