Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
