I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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