He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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