I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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