I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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