i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
