I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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