Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
