Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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