TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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