I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
