i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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