Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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