i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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