Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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