im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize